Hey LIS,
You made my day.

I got the same 'personality' message from my FIL at time of BD.
"We will always love you both"; "We won't be taking sides"

12 months later, and when stbx decides I'm the bad guy, things started to change.

I take your point about needing to let others in. I've been very closed off about this. Just don't want to come across as the whining/ "It's all his fault" type. And like you, I've been SO embarrassed by the scandal that he's caused. But I'm definitely ready to deal with it now.

I will be D-ed in 2 weeks time, and it's almost with a sense of relief. Strange, isn't it?

It's as if I need to get this behind me. I'm sure stbx must feel the same way (only X100).

Now if I could only work out how to make him pay something by way of upkeep for those darned impediments I refer to as our kids....not to mention all those debts I racked up all on my own!

Thanks for your care and your prayers. You have helped me beyond words...