i can't believe i'm still here

[25yearsmlc]

hi cadet -
thanks for your response - i don't even know why i am hanging in there, he is so so far gone -
what i am wondering is the relationship of pot to the midlife crisis?
has anyone else had experience with a spouse who is addicted?

addicted... to what? Is there something else going on, or a porn addiction or hard drugs?

Sorry b/c I don't want to enter a "pro pot" debate (I'm not FOR pot) but if it's pot he's smoking, the answer to why he does it, is that it's to relax and escape. Like having a few cocktails.

And good luck telling him he's "addicted" to pot. You'll probably lose some credibility with him if you say things like that. He'll tune it out like a teenager would. One thing my s26 said recently to me about pot (and s26 is no stoner. He's successful college grad, smart and athletic, talented YADA YADA...) was that "adults LIED to us about pot when we were teenagers. They lost their credibility. So we didn't trust much else that got said..."

Maybe your h feels the same?? He's acting like he's a teenager...

In HIS EYES, telling him he's an addict (if it's about pot, that is) is Like saying anyone who has a glass of wine at dinner is an alcoholic...BUT I DIGRESS...

Your sitch a rough one, to be sure.

But at this point my main concern would be about OWs and their cost. He's using marital assets right? So, how you feel about buying half of their meals and half of the gifts he buys them?

Have you seen a lawyer lately? I have to start with that. Protect yourself legally.

Then ask yourself what your realistic best case scenarios and goals are now. Then ask the worst case and what you are risking by doing nothing...it might not be much but it might be everything.

True, he did not file anything. And he's had plenty of time for it...

But other than what he has NOT done vis a vis a divorce,

what has he done FOR the marriage to survive? What's he SAY?

((( )))