I actually was on ADs 10 years ago too, and they sent my BP through the roof. Didn't know that was the issue until after I went off of them, but when my doc put two and two together...
Every day is different. I wanted to murder H this weekend, and then yesterday he was the most wonderful spouse someone could ask for.
On the way home, there was a terrible accident on the highway, and all of the sudden, while sitting in this traffic mess, I hear D in the back making an odd sound. It sounded like choking. I reach back and feel something wet all over my hand and it's red.
I immediately pull over and she had vomited strawberries all over herself and her carseat. I was thankful she wasn't choking (what it sounded like) and it wasn't blood (from the red substance), but she was miserable. I stripped her down and washed her as best I could with wipes. Poor thing had to sit in the car another half hour before we finally got home.
I called H and told him what happened. He came home as soon as he could, having picked up dinner for her and told me not to worry about cooking, we could order in for us. D must have just had something that didn't agree with her stomach because she was fine the rest of the evening.
When I put her to bed, I found that not only had H cleaned up the kitchen and put away the leftovers (something he's never done unless I've explicitly asked), but he cleaned up the living area and asked if there was anything else I needed help with. It was awesome. And I told him that.
While I love and appreciate all of you on here to support me, I think I need something slightly different. Does anyone know of a good online community specifically for people who have gone through an A and come out on the other side of it successfully? DB served it's purpose, but now I'm not sure where to go to learn to forgive.
You know how I love personality tests. Well, H's company is using a new one to help with team building called the "Color Code". He's a yellow. I'm a blue. Opposites. Again (which is not necessarily a bad thing, and when done right, can be a very, very good thing). But the thing that struck such a chord with me is that Blues have a very, VERY hard time forgiving. It's just so against their nature and their ingrained sense of morals. And it just wrecks me.
And I know this is my issue now. I've known that for months. But I just can't... I don't know how...
So... I know there are all kinds of places out there, but which one of them is worth a damn?
Also, my IC told me that there's a group that meets in the area for couples going through an A recovery. Ironically, it's around the corner from my house at a local church. I could walk there if I wanted to be especially healthy. But it conflicts with our MC. But at this point, this inability to get over the past A is SO invasive to our progress, I'm wondering if that would be more worth while to explore.
Anyhow, any suggestions on a good online post-A recovery community?
