It seems so many of us are in the same spot with our situations...
I was supposed to have my first phone counseling session yesterday morning. Ends up I had to take my dad in for minor surgery and I had to miss. But I don't plan to reschedule...

My patience with this entire thing is just about gone.

So as I posted last week, H is still not wearing ring. So I decided I won't be wearing mine either.

I have no idea if the girl he is friends with went Saturday or not - but she's a hairdresser and her vehicle wasn't there Saturday. So that's a big sign (and I had to go by that way to the bank, don't get any ideas lol)

Saturday I had a great time out out town at a concert with my friend and her husband. Except when I got a little teary eyed at a song, she texted my H that he is a d*** and needs to wake up and realize what he has - not a good idea, wish she hadn't , but here came his text rampages.
We again got all of the texts about how no one asks his side, etc. Well, H, in most of my family and friends minds, not matter the reason, you decided to just up and leave. So no, they are not going to have pity.

I have been in contact with the other guy. Yes, I realize this doens't help my situation, but I'm really about over it all. H saw some on the phone records and again made contact with the other guy - threatening him about messing with his wife. Isn't it funny how he chooses when I am his wife and when I am not?!And in a strange turn of events other guy called my H, apologized, whatever.

But what is interesting about that is, once he asked me and went on (another!) text rampage (I know these sound like I initiate them but he does it no matter what) about how we are divorcing anyway. Again how I still haven't owned up to my friends family that I am a 'self righteous bi**h that ignored him'.

So all of those text coming in while I'm trying to get my dad in for surgery. I finally wrote and said I can't read all this right now, dealing with dad etc.

Later in the day he is texting me being nice. Then comes to the house to pick up D and is all friendly, talking about my pretty face, stayed longer than usual and hugged me when he left. Has been texting funny stories about D last night and this morning.

I just feel like he continually plays mind games. And I can't anymore. I will never be able to change enough that will be good enough for him. He is always going to find something.

This morning asked him about a birthday party for his friends son that is Saturday - if he wanted to take D or me to do it. He obviously hasn't told this couple about us. And just like the bowling thing seems he doesn't want to - sends back a random answer about how that's hard because we both want to go to this place with D. I haven't repled but I'm going to tell him he can go.

I do feel like I've been giving this lots of effort for a long time. He is never going to be able to let go of what he says happened in the past. All of this recreation of our history, to him it's all real. And maybe part of it is - I've apologized - move on and quit bringing it up.

And when I really start to think about things, since he moved out he has gotten even more involved in bands, sometimes playing/practicing 4 times a week. Sorry, I can't deal with that. We have a family that should be most important. We all need our fun stuff but there is no reason for it to consume that much of your time every week.