Guess I posted too soon, LOL! But if she reaches out to you like that, it's OK to respond.
Quote:
I told her that was ok and I completely understand. Told her that it may be too soon anyways( thanks AS!) She said I say that, BUT that I will be upset or hold it against her if she doesn't go. I said nope! No one can force us to go. And it's perfectly fine if its too much right now.
Good response! The only thing I want to mention is try to validate more, so when she said you will be upset or hold it against her, instead of just disagreeing you might have said something like "I can understand why you would feel that way based on my past behavior, but I'm committed to not being like that anymore, so I do feel I would not hold it against you like I might have in the past." This way you're validating her concerns, but promising different behavior. And of course it's extremely important to show her that new behavior, if she does decide not to go then maintain PMA, say it's no problem and maybe mention that there will be more RetroV sessions in the future.
