Clarification: You don't want them to wonder if you'll take them back because you're angry and spiteful -- you want them to feel that you have so much going for you that you are a prize to be won, and can afford to be selective about who gets to share your joy filled life. Make that your goal.
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
Thanks for the clarity. boy am i glad i found this forum. You guys rock!
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
Well I just texted her a link to retrouvalle. To see if she would be interested in going in april. Probably was a mistake but we'll see.
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
Well she finally texted back and said she just got home from work and hasnt had time to look at the link. guess it was stupid. I feel like theres someone else and shes just leaving my by a string in case it doesn't work out. feeling like giving up!!!
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
JimEAck, these things move WAY slower than we would like. If you could take your mind off things for 6 weeks and do nothing it would help more than hurt. When things don't go our way we want resolution NOW, but a WAS situation doesn't work that way. It's 2 steps forward and 1 step back for months and months.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
I'm starting to realize that. I texted her to let me know and to really think about retrovalle. Reasured her that I missed her and let it be. We'll see what happens. But if I don't get a response I'm thinking of deleting all my social media stuff from her so I can't stalk and drive myself crazy. She'll probably think I'm doing it out of spite but I'm really not. I have to get happy with myself. I always worry about her and not myself
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
I'm starting to realize that. I texted her to let me know and to really think about retrovalle.
RetroV is not going to do much good unless she's really on board with reconciliation. Both spouses need at least a passing willingness to give the M a fighting chance for RetroV to be effective.
[quote]But if I don't get a response I'm thinking of deleting all my social media stuff from her so I can't stalk and drive myself crazy. She'll probably think I'm doing it out of spite but I'm really not.
Well what she thinks IS what matters here, and I agree with you, she will think you're angry at her for refusing to go to RetroV and attempting to punish her. My advice would be not to do anything at all. You have the power to quit snooping, you don't have to delete accounts and stuff.
Like Accuray said, just take some time off. Quit obsessing. Quit pressuring your W. Quit snooping. Take a break from the forums. Get out. Get a life!
I agree. I had to step back and just GAL. I've been worrying her well being so much that I was starting to become negative again. I need to remain positive and become a better man for my future with or without W. I know that's tough to do, but focus on yourself and your needs right now JimEAck
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Well I was out with friends last night. Got a text from W. all it said was sorry works been crazy and I'm tired, how are you? I wasn't even gonna respond but I gave it a hr and said I'm good sorry for bothering you yesterday. Of course no response. Wish I could figure out where she is with all this???
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
Of course no response. Wish I could figure out where she is with all this???
Just remember that this didn't develop overnight and it's not going to change overnight. I know it's so hard. I'm working on it myself. But you can only control your thoughts and actions.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
