He will never be who or what I want, I read this from someone here, I would rather be happy than M, I need to be happy, I don't need to be M.
hey- this is heavy. i want to be happy too- i'm not married- i was once - it's no guarantee is it? much as i'd like to think it would provide soemthing to me. .
i find myself thinking, "what do i want?)" i want to feel happy again- and pretty much at peace with the world.
i feel at odds with everyone - the universe maybe. it's bad juju- girls need inner peace - well, this girl does.
i think the man i loved was all in my head. he said "what he was" and i belived. somewhere along the line he stopped being a nice guy and a decent guy. i made excuses i guess to myself and the world. maybe that's the hardest part- giving up on someone's intrinsic goodness. it seems a very very harsh judgement- to decide he is just bad now- let him go.
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[/quote]Thanks, Nero....I just miss L so much, I'm not cut out for such evil spew, I'm a L not a fighter! I miss a good handsome man speaking polite and respectful! I'm sick of the eggshells all over my house!
HOOOLLLLEYYYYY CRAP DAWN- me too. i am not even competitive in the least. i bend and stretch and do everyting in the universe to avoid the fight. all i come up with is that i was soooooooo EASY and that is that. my sole attraction - i'm a good companion and not demanding. sad sad discovery- that's all iwas for sooooo long. just someone easy.
i think all i ever saw my life as was/is - in love with ___ and loved by ___. i'd like to feel bad about it- it was the most important thing. i don't begin to know what will replace it. i just don't have any big giant agendas to steer toward - i'm a floater as well as a L'r. that is all there is to me- paint, create, love, talk, interact, eat & sleep.
maybe i'll get lucky and someone new will come along- or maybe not and i'll just figure out some new lifestyle that doesn't include love. i guess i could get a dog - like everyone else in the universe alone and wanting someone to love.
oh well- off to post office. no wisdom- hang on dearie -
i miss L too - i'd say tho - something will come along and our lives will flow forward - and we'll feel it- maybe of a different sort for a different person or reason- but if you've got it inside to feel & share- it pops out - somehow- i'm going with that notion today..... i'm pretty much all about love- too late to change the persuasion of a lifetime - and is it so bad???
you know, beatles - all ya need is love- well, ole ray says it will find us and all we have to do is be open to it - (well, and open to the universe)
keeping a good thought.
[quote]I'm being mean I get that, but I'm not going to hold it in so I guess I have to take it to the gym! I had my L4 L5 disc shaved 4yrs ago because of sciatica. I have several meds here but I don't respond well, so I diet and walk, I guess it will help both issues!
ouch- sometimes i get it - & pain down my leftleg. been good lately since i lost some weight and walking alot- i know what you mean about the drugs- not my answer either. i take anti-inflamm if really bad- but try and just tough it out. so me... okay- go to gym and PUT ON PITBULL FOR PETE SAKE- I JUST PLAYED IT FOUR TIMES- FEEL PERKIER AL READY!~!
BTW - GET MEAN- GET LOUD- GET IT OUT- WHY INTERNALIZE- ONLY GIVE YOU AN ULCER. can you even imagine doing this on your own- which i guess women have done since time began- yuck!!!
