With regards to being judgmental, it was not one of the first things I worked on....it was really in the second set. At first, I focused on being insecure, then controlling, and eventually, after a few others, I got to judgmental. I honestly didn't believe I was. I took an online quiz, I think more to prove I wasn't than anything, and I was big time. It really made me feel awful...I had no idea. So, I'm not saying you are or aren't, but a lot of what you describe reminds me of where I was.
Maybe others will chime in regarding the MC. Is W seeing an IC? It sounds like some IC on both sides may be in order for a while first, and then maybe MC. Or, you might change the focus to learning how to co-parent. I think you have to get W's agreement on how to proceed with the counseling though.
Keep reading, and keep focusing on you. Consider checking out Sex Starved Marriage by MWD.
You mentioned anger and controlling behavior....why do you think you are that way? Where did those behaviors come from?
