Yesterday I had a few hours I was feeling down. As I said before, H has started telling me alot about the things he is doing, when and where he is going, and with whom. I want to beleive he is trying to build some trust in him. Am I wrong to think this, as I always go back to "believe none of what he says, blah, blah, blah..." Anyway, that is how I feel....
Well, yesterday he texted me and asked how my day was going. In my response I said I was good and asked how he was. He said he was feeling pretty ill and that he was leaving work early to go "home", meaning his apartment. I had a half day at work and asked him if he needed anything. - I know I shouldn't have done it, but I did. Anyway, he said no, he was good. Well that led my mind to wonder. Is he really going to be with someone, is he going to file for divorce, what's really going on, etc. Well while out running my errands, I was soooo tempted to drive past his place to see if he went there like he said.
Thankfully I stopped myself with the words someone here on this board gave me..."He is going to do it anyway, so what does it matter". I realized that it would only kill my PMA and GAL by fearing/confirming that he had "done something an H wasn't supposed to". So I prayed to myself that he indeed was telling me the truth, and that all the positivity that has been happening with H and I was not another lie.
Well, someone heard my prayers...because about a few hours later, H was texting me and my son every 10 minutes or so....with his texts to me saying "That it really meant a lot to me that you wanted to take care of me and that it means more than you know". He also asked if I would be able to bring him something to eat as he felt horrible. I did for two reasons. 1-I would do it for a freind, and 2-he had not seen our boys and thought it would be nice even only for a few minutes if they did (okay, and three, I still love him and would do anything for him).
After dropping off the food and staying for about 15 minutes, it turned out, he was truly sick (which made me feel better, knowing he was telling me the truth-at least that time).
Is there any point when you can start believing in what they are saying? I almost feel like he doesn't have to tell me anything and could go on with his deceitfulness. Anyone?
BombOctober 2012- OW 11/28/12 -H still denies Separated 11/29/12 Own place 12/12/12 Confessed OW/EA/PA 2/2/13 Oct 2013 - I knew I was done Jan 2014 - Anticipating the rest of my life
