The View from the Blanket II

[2chiquitos]

And I thought its my duty as a mom to tell my kids' father what's happening to them regardless because he is their father. I guess that could be pressure.


Maybe I am doing the kids a disservice ?

HI BUSTING!! I've missed you!

Well with that said, I wanted to comment on this post of yours. My Al Anon sponsor brought something that really made me think. She asked me, Do you carry his guilt?
ME: What does that mean?
Sponsor: Do you facilitate things for him that would've been a consequence of his decision?
ME: HMMMmmmmm?!!

I realized that I did! Lightbulb! I constantly (now I'm not saying we share the exact same story but bear with me) would send him pix and texts about the kids and what they were doing. I didn't want him to miss out on anything!

So guess what I did?? No really guess? LOL! I'm in a good mood tonite ;-)

I got rid of my smartphone. It forced me not to send him pix of the kids. Plus, it's a boring flip phone so it takes FOREVER to text. This way I was saving money, I was no longer glued to my cell (you know how we are now with these fun phones), and I wasn't constantly communicating with H throughout the day about what the kids were doing.

I also stopped answering all his calls. Not just with him, with everyone. If I'm feeding the kids, NO CALLS. I'm bathing them, NO CALLS. Get the pix. Anything that will disrupt my serenity and our routine.

Of course it changed my relationship with friends and family but HEY! we were ok without cellphones 10yrs ago. Only doctors had them and only they answered right away. But us, us regular people answer that cell like if we are attached to it!

And my relationship with H, well I'm sure it changed and it affected him but I didn't do it for that reason. I did it for me!! I love him and I love(d) my marriage but I needed to respect my boundaries. My time is valuable. My serenity is even more valuable!

Take my experience with a grain of salt.

Thinking of you my DB friend!