Another dollar in my one-man show

[Big Bruce]

Hi,
Dbmod, I'm interested in knowing as well. Is this reaction a normal one (wanting to flee, pretending all of this never happened)?

Journal : W continues her policy of 0 contact with me. Last time I saw her was in court. She is nowhere to be seen, and does not communicate with me. In return I do not communicate with her, respecting her wish to be left alone. Also we know that any unecessary contact at this point is pursuing, which we don't want. It'll only make her want to make it clear that she separated, rejecting me even more.

Exception to the rule, she wrote an email saying : "thank you for the cheque." on the 1st of March (after receiving what the court asked me to give her every month).(I have not paid the arrears yet).
I know it's just a way of acknowledging the passing of money, but still, she could have said :"I got your cheque".

Our wedding anniversary is coming up next week, and I still haven't made up my mind about what to do or not to do. I sincerly hope it's not our last one, so really, I don't want to blow it. I want W to keep a good memory of what I did on 14th March 2013 despite what was the situation.

I don't know, I may only be a dreamer, but if she were to D, I want to be so excellent that it'll cause her to remember every 14th March of what it could have been if...

Also, S's birthday is the 20th of March. Again, giving him a big gift might be seen as trying to earn points... suggestions on what to do?

And one last thing, W's sister has or will very shortly, give birth. Should I send a card, go see her in her city, write an email, call her? Or is it a faux-pas, might appear as trying to be nice to get to W ?

Man, all these questions would be so simple to answer if W didn't destroy the whole family. I don't know anymore what is normal to do or not do, to feel or not feel. Yes, I may be a goblin or troll like someone called me after all, my heart swings from wanting to leave the country out of anger towards W to the other extreme wanting to forgive her all and wipe the slate clean.

And yes, 25yearsmic is right, life is unfair, look at Africa, they have it so good there. Man, I wish I could escape to South Africa some days, it's so beautiful their landscapes, weather so nice, fruits so abundant, people so nice... and I'm stuck here.