Looking at Alanon meetings this week. I'm not sure if H is an alcoholic, but alcohol is definitely causing a problem in our relationship. He doesn't drink every day, but when he goes out with friends, he has no shut off valve. And he drinks to numb his feelings. He's been reading a lot and associating with certain aspects of some celebrity alcohol stories (billy joe, Green Day article in Rolling Stone this month).
My father was/is a gambling addict, outside of a child abuser. Alcoholism is something I have never really had to deal with and feels like a foreign language to me. Addiction, I understand how it destroys families. We lost two houses, and the losses were taken out on my brother and I in different ways. If this is what I am dealing with, on top of everything else, I'm going to need a lot more support and education. I spoke with my IC at length today. I'm not jumping to any conclusions, but feel like I need to educate myself so I know what I'm dealing with here.
Just had to write this stuff down so I can try to make sense of it.
