Is there light at the end of the tunnel Part 1?

[Bel123]

Breakdown- Thanks also for replying. Yeah that is a lot of information sorry about that. It was building up so much I let SOME of it out HAHA. I have stopped telling her I love her or asking her to hang out. I think I am giving her the space she has asked for but I am not asking her if it is or is not either. I did everything DBing says you shouldn’t (smothering, snooping, asking for reassurance). I wish I didn’t but it felt so natural to do so.

As for snooping, believe me I got more than I wanted to and to a point, I think it made the situation even more complicated. Sometimes ignorance is bliss is a true statement. I am curious, why do you think I have judgment issues btw? W says the same thing but I honestly don’t believe I am judging her. I have tried to figure it out even with my IC about this topic. Why is it called judging when I disagree with M but difference of option when W disagrees with me? I guess I am still confused about it. I might come off being judgmental but not my intention or goal. I have stopped asking about her whereabouts but she still comes out and tells me where she is going to. But that’s more for scheduling reasons rather than to share things so I don’t read too much into it.

About the things I am working on, I am trying to read as much as I can about all the issues and talk about them in IC. For Self-Confidence I am looking back into the man I was, looking at all pictures and thinking about to times where I felt like the man and I am trying to keep telling myself that is still the same man inside and I think it is working because now I don’t feel like it would be the end of the world is W left. I won’t be happy about it but I will move on. Judging, well I am trying to learn about it and how not to come off judgmental but I guess it is a true issue since W and you feel like I am. I need to learn to communicate better for sure. Controlling, I have let it all go. I am even trying to work on not asking about what is going on when S is with W. I know she is a great mother and I shouldn’t worry but since there is not line of good communication, I feel like if I don’t ask, I don’t get to hear even the funny things he has done you know?

The issue W said we had was not enough sex, she felt unsupported, abandoned, not priority. Funny thing is I felt the same way and still do. When we have issues we both close off and don’t talk about it and that leads to here.
Not sure about postpartum but sometimes I do think she is still depressed but she says she is not anymore during MC.
My IC is solution based as in I went in there and told her I need to figure out if I should be in this M or not. But I had to slow her down a bit since our MC is a lot slower. The MCer is solution based but W is not there yet. She is still saying she is trying to figure out what she wants to do. So we are not even on the “we are here to work out our issues” so it is dragging.

Sorry for another long one btw