Since my secret agent eavesdropping episode, I've been on a kick of rereading info about affairs. I am finding it helpful as a reminder of how messed up they really are.
From the hero's spouse:
"Do you think it is a strong and mentally healthy person who needs someone to feel desperate for them to feel more important? The alienator's desperation is indicative of the MLCers level of weakness and self-worth. I know you want your husband, but step aside from your situation. Come on, you can do that. Consider that you are young and single - never married. What type of person would you choose? Would your MLCer - as an MLCer - be in the running? Probably not."
First of all, these other women your H is hooking up with have one thing in common - they could never be you. Ever! They may be different from each other on the surface, but they are all weak individuals who have very low standards along with even lower opinions of themselves.
Secondly - do we even really want our H in their current condition? I can't speak for you, but for me, my real H was quite a catch. This alien pod person - not so much.
I know it's hard to not be angry. I have a lot of anger too. I think we just can't let it consume us, try to work through it, and remember how messed up they really are.
I would even go as far to say that for how much we hurt, their pain is much greater. Why else would they stoop so low?
I understand the old you wanting to come out, oh I really do. The new you just has to have a pep talk with her and set her straight. The new you is stronger and wiser.
Sorry for your bad day. I have been putting together (or trying to) some puzzle pieces myself. Some fit, some don't. Which makes me then think... They will fit all together when we are supposed to finally understand and see the big picture in all it's glory.
Hang in there mama. We're here for you. And if you feel the need to do a private rant with some b and w and c words, I am right there with ya
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
