Compliments & Passive Aggressiveness..Work to do!

[AnotherStander]

On a more positive note, had an incredible day yesterday! Closed on my new business, paperwork signed and have the keys.

Good deal, congrats!!

Then I got a nessage from W who was at OM and didnt know it was closing day. I keep her out of the loop a little so she can feel left out.

It's fine if you're doing this as part of "going dim", but keep in mind that if you're going dim and withholding info then you're doing it for you, not as a tactic to make your W "feel left out". Also it needs to be consistent behavior, and it needs to be a 180. IE, if you were short on sharing info with W in the M, then doing it now is just "more of the same" behavior.

Those are the words of afirmation that she had been withholding.

Good, celebrate internally and continue with your DB'ing. Don't get overly excited or develop any expectations about what it means.

Anyway, turns ou her and OM had yet another fight. Two fights in 3 days. Found out when her girlfriend posted on fb asking wife if the argument had 'quietened down' after her friend supposedly left there on thursday night (left om house).

Egads, how many 2x4's have you gotten smacked with for snooping?

Wife looked at her phone a few times during the evening and looked a little mad and acted like she was ignoring someones messages.

And how many more for mind-reading?

No wife is not coming because I havent invited her. She can spend a saturday night on her own for the first time maybe in her life

Again, going dim is a valid approach if that's what you feel you need in your sitch, but it's about you, it's not about punishing W.

[MrBond]

Still trying to control her actions.

[SM34]

Mr bond, I M not trying to be controlling. I have left her to do as she pleases and I am ok with this being out of ky control. Can you exlain why it is controlling?

AS thanks man! Yes the new business is kick ass! Wife is also very excited. In fact mil messaged me to tell me W told her she is not going to OM at all this week but still wants mil to take D3 friday night so she can come to my new business ane plan tthe renovation. She is an interior designer plus if you remember finwnciak stress was big in my sich. Years of me being comlacent in business and putting up with a partner with a drug habit are being revers d now. My new confidence and ballsiness is a 180 from the last few years and puts me back to more like I was when wife and I met. Sh is attracted to my confidemce and belief tha I can be successful and that the sky is the limit for me.

[SM34]

Ok im trying to make sense of what just happened.

Wfe already told MIL she is NOT going to see OM at all this week. The fighs fom last week between them were equal parts solid infomaion fom facebook and mind reading from me when I noticed it looked like wife was ignoring someones messages

So today the whole day wife is messaging while I am qt work setting up the new business. She is with D3 plqying at the park. I noticed her messages were not as chirpy and when I asked what was wrong she said nothing but I know she was lieing.

She messag s me several times asking when I am coming home befause she was cooking dinner. After dinner she is lookint really down and messaging on her phone. Messaging app shows OM is online too.

Then I look ovr to her and ask whats wrong in a lovint concerned tone. She burst into tears and says pls dont look at me now...as if me looking is what is causeing he to cry. I looked away but couldnt do it. It was killing me. If this guy is hurting my baby I would drive a stick through his nut sack.

I knelt down infont of her and started rubbing her feet. I said baby I hate to see you like this. She said I just took my meds and they are kicking in now. I coninued rubbing her feet and worked up into her pantsvare rubbed her calves and up to her thighs. She begab cryint more.

She said u never rubbed my feet when I was pregnant. I said I am sorry that is what you recall of that time period. I remember rubbing much more than just your feet. She smiled.

I move onto rubbing her shoulders then leaned in and kissed her in the cheeck, she leaned in and muzzled her face into my neck and moaned. I kept kissing her neck and cheeks and her head, and she kept on making loving purring noises. She really needed affection. I am so horny at this point that I wanted o tea her clothes off!

I turned turner ino q flirtint moment and told her that her highs felt so warm and I couldn continue this torture. She smiled but looked a little bummed. I dont know why I stopped. I guess I need an end to OM before I can b e sexual wih her. We hugged a deep lovers hug and she kissed and rubbed her face and nose into my neck. I almost creamed my pants honstly.

Then I pulled back ane said lets to bed, we have to be up in a few hours. I was hinting to see if she would come sleep in our bed. She said you go ahead I am not sleepy yet. So i asked her it she is going to be ok, and told her to come gt me if she needed me.

Now laying in bed wondering what that was all about. Was it OM? Was it regret or remorse? Did she miss my affection? She certainly seemed to realy enjoy me kissing her all over and feeling her up. Did she want me to make a move? Why is she not going to see OM at all this week?

So many questions and no answers....

[leopoldstotch]

Well SM I'm not trying to speak for Mr. Bond but I agree with what he said. The fact that you didn't invite her so she could spend a Sat night alone for the first time ever is controlling. You kept her out of loop with the closing of your new store, also controlling. It's one thing if you are going d
"dim" or "dark" but this is more of to get a reaction out of her which is? CONTROLLING!