Thank you for the summary. I am hoping that IC will help me with me being emotionally abusive, as there are no books that I can find other than for the the emotionally abused. I applaud you for making a stand and setting a time line and boundaries. I cant imagine what you went through, I am sorry that it did not work out. I hope you are happy as a person now and think it is amazing that you are hear helping others like myself. It sounds as you defiantly have your dignity and that is huge!
Thank you for your words....
I think as you dig deeper into what you may initially think is "emotionally abusive" , you MAY find that it is a pretty broad term, and one that gets thrown around pretty commonly in situations like these.
I think that what you may find, is that you have some things that you do not like about yourself, that causes you to act in certain ways, and in certain situations. And that being emotionally abusive is a side effect of what is lying deeper inside of you.
Identifying the "hows" of your so called abuse, may lead you in the right direction.
For instance, If I say something to you, and you get that little sting up the back of your neck, causing you to become angry. Is that my fault for mentioning it ? Your fault for taking it poorly? Or a trigger that sets of a certain behavior within you ???
It may stem from co-dependency, or abandonment, or because your pet unicorn got run over by a snowmobile when you were 6...
Whatever the reason, there is a reason. THAT is what you should be identifying as what you want to change....
Make sense ?
And just to clarify.....
My timeline had zero to do with her, and more to do with myself...
I wanted that time to figure me out first, so that I could make any decisions based on what I had learned.
I could make them rationally, and not emotionally, and from a place of love and compassion rather than a place of anger and hatred.....
I needed that time and space, the same as she did...
What I went through, was probably a drop in the bucket compared to what she went through. And after 15 years of marriage, it was my turn to carry the load for a while, regardless the outcome. I owed her that....
