Still working on me

[sweetbabyred]

Around 10:30 pm I got a text from H asking if I was busy. I said "no more than usual" and almost immediately my phone rang.

First off, he told me that his bonus is coming this week and then he'll pay me, so we'll see what happens.

H just keeps saying that he's confused. He asked if I'd gone to church that day. I said no and he asked if I still went. I said I did when I could. H asked if I'd pray for him when I went. I told him that I prayed for him and my entire family every night.

I mentioned that I was concerned about SS being around OW because I don't think she's a good influence. H said that she might not last that long. I said he'll be back in town in three weeks and H said, yes, she might not last that long.

H then shared a story about SS. He'd talked to him a few days ago and SS wants his sister, mom, stepdad, H and me to all go play laser tag when they move back. H and I took him last spring to do that and he absolutely loved it.

H told me that SS didn't mention OW at all. Of course not, he only saw her a few times over the summer and I'm his stepmom. It made me cry, because I miss that kid so much. H did say that I'd always be his stepmom, no matter what. That's a change from some of the spew last fall.

H was in the hospital on Friday. Something is wrong with his stomach, and of course the doctors told him not to drink, but he was at the bar on Sunday night.

I guess it's a good thing that he's reaching out, but I'm not sure if he'll take any action, or if it'll be quick enough to make a difference.

I kept reading that WAS/MlCers usually try to come back at some point, but often the LBS has moved on. I am so close to that point right now. I think I'll end up filing in April if H doesn't and doesn't make any attempts to R.

We spoke for about an hour and a half and it was a decent conversation. Quite a bit of R talk, but all initiated by him.

I've spent the last two years examining my part in what went wrong and working to improve myself. H just seems to have tried not to think about things and hope they'd magically improve. I'm not sure if he's even capable of doing the work to be happy.

I hope that H can make it through this, because he does sound absolutely miserable.