as hurt as you were before your w's death (let alone after)
has time and more information about her diagnosis helped you put her choices in context?
I mean, if I recall correctly, sexual behavior outside the marriage is a hallmark of that type of illness, and when she realized this illness was going to be a lifelong challenge if unmanaged (which I guess she did not feel she could manage)
then she chose to "exit, stage left". Point is, while it's true "she cheated", do you see that it was not personal to you? Although Lord knows it feels like the MOST personal of all things...
I only ask b/c 1) i hope you can see that her ill self cheated, not the woman you married, and 2) I've since met someone with a similar diagnosis, made after a 2 year period of erratic semi dangerous behaviors...she's my friend but I feel for her h. She has been angry at him but now is beginning to own "it ALL" and that's probably not fair...also a moot point right now. She is facing AN UPHILL struggle of undetermined length. If you had something to tell HER h, what would it be? So far his wife is taking the meds and feeling/acting more normal towards him & the kids, BUT facing the wreckage of her actions, even while sick, is extremely shame filled and hard for her. Dark thoughts cross her mind.
Just thought I'd ask...and yes, I'll refer either or both to this site but not sure they would come here. They are still reeling..both of them. Thanks for any advice -- and thanks for just letting us know you are okay.
Hugs to your boys...
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
