You are correct about not being able to bring up depression. I made that mistake early on. Only after 1 month prior her saying that she was either stressed or depressed as the reason for her distancing. But when I asked larer on and eluded to depression she got really angry and said "I am NOT depressed, I am unhappy in this marriage!" Best to stear clear of talking with her about this. It doesn't seem to go well.
It's very hard to point out a depression to someone IF they're also not happy in the relationship. And if they think they are unhappy, they are unhappy.
Incidentally, when I went on ADs' the first time, my doctor mentioned something positive about them and how they'd "likely be quite temporary" and I asked him how he knew that. (I was desparate to hear how fast I'd feel better).
He said, "well almost 90% of married women who take anti-depressants have h's who they consider critical or judgemental or angry, and you're here b/c your dad died and you say your h was supportive.."
And in truth, h was a pillar when my father got sick and died. It was not a long period of time but it counted a lot to me.
But that's the rub about ADs and h's who suggest their w's have a "problem in their heads/hormones". Not only does it BLAME the wife for the issues but it completely stops the h's from looking within to work on the only person they actually can control.
..know what I"m saying?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
