Major backslide

[Hurt84]

It's been probably close 6 months since I last posted but the short history is a little over a year ago my wife had an affair. Once I found out I did the typical pleading and pursuing that eventually pushed her away. After about 3 months she moved into her own apt and I was actually able breath myself. I stopped pursuing and started doing things for me. By September, the affair was over after a little time she moved back in where things had been going well. She changed jobs, we redid some stuff around the house and started to basically pick up where we left off before things went south.

That all changed about a month ago when I happened to see that she started texting OM again. I tried to keep it together and - whether it was fair or not - I asked her to stop talking to him. I didn't give an ultimatum but I was afraid that it could lead to bigger problems for us so I had trouble letting it go.

Well, yesterday it all came to a head. Since I found out that she was talking to OM again, I went into overdrive to make sure everything with us was good. It started with me trying to talk about anything that was bothering us, then it moved on to talking about trust and respect and honesty, until finally yesterday I basically beat her over the head with a list of all this stuff I wanted us to work towards.

Needless to say, this was a major backslide for me. When she had enough of the conversation I couldn't let it go and pushed her - about the affair again, why couldn't she stop talking to him, our future, etc. By 11am she said she was done and packed a bag for her mom's (at least she didn't get an apt this time). This morning she texted me just to let me know that she had to stop by to grab her atm card and I took the opportunity to rehash everything from the yesterday (real smart, right). So now that conversation ended with she can't do this anymore and that's it.

I'm basically in a worse spot emotionally then I was thrilled first time around. My hope is that she'll take a couple days at her mom's and comes home. If she doesn't that I've already reread DR today so hopefully I can control myself and start working to right this ship.

I know this all sounds pretty pathetic and I really screwed up but any advice whether she comes back or not? I was doing so well while we were separated and for the first few months she was home but just lost my grip the last month.