thank you KML. really really appreciate your thoughts.
HA! I certainly don't think he'd care about any flowers or maybe not even notice them.
My S8 doesn't yet know because OW's S8 was pulled from school and put into private school coincidentally (?) right around the time of the affair. He doesn't play outside and goes straight from the car to the house. It is possible that OW's S8 will say something to a mutual friend from the school--so yes, it could happen. H will be majorly ticked off if I tell the boys, but we will talk about it in counseling.
I have already spoken to a lawyer and because of my history of 5+ years with OW, there is real cause for concern about her being around my kids--think Single White Female type thing. The lawyer suggested one route would be court-mandated psychological evaluation (6 months +) for OW during which time there would be NO contact with my kids and OW. H of course does not know about this option, but has agreed that the kids should not have contact with OW right now--and has given me his "word" HA HA HA that they won't accidentally on purpose bump into each other.
I don't trust H in the house alone. I would have to lock up quite a lot of things that are important to me to allow him here on his own. I love the idea of having him do the homework with S8! It's a pain in the neck!
Oh I fully acknowledge my problems in the marriage, and did 180s that were recognized by my H until I was dizzy. It was too late for him. He had checked out and moved on already despite marriage counseling he requested...I am still in IC, and we go together too for coparenting, him on his own, and the kids have their own. So much $$$.
He is still paying all the bills. I am the SAHM.
I went out for cocktails with the girls on Friday yet didn't tell him. Justifying frivolous babysitting expenses is hard when you're not the breadwinner.
