I'm a hot mess tonight. Went to D17's concert and these events just hit me so hard! Worse than the basketball game because this is truly a root part of our family and my parenting, it's been in support of my girls' interests. We've done years and years of lessons and recitals and concerts & it feels like I'm walking around without a limb when we're both attending these events but separately.
He found us in our normal seats where I was already sitting with D15 and H's mom. He was friendly as usual, made a couple jokes, then went to sit on the opposite end of the row by his mom. Okay, well I guess this could be measured as progress because we've been to probably 10+ concerts since he's left and we've not even sat in the general vicinity once. He mostly stayed off his phone, looked like he was playing a game before and during intermission a little - but it was pretty clearly a game instead of rapid texting OW so that's probably progress too.
I see other families and grandparents at these events and it makes me cry and feel so sad! I don't want this future of a broken up family!
I need to make another appt with DB coach again for this week. But I'm feeling desperate about wanting to reach out to him. We haven't talked about our relationship since Oct and I feel that I've changed a lot, he probably has too, and I should put something out there - no pressure, but here's where I'm at. I want to play the right move and be pragmatic, but I don't want to let him file for D without knowing my heart is still open! I'll regret not saying anything. But I'm scared half to death.
D15 did pretty well tonight. I gave her a pep talk about keeping a good attitude and reminded her that her dad loves her. I feel like I'm back in the role of managing her relationship with her dad and I know he'll benefit from it, but I think it's probably the right thing to do.
Girls and I went to dinner with H's mom afterwards and I was a little down and it was hard to be in the right frame of mind. H asked where we were going to dinner & I told him - I can't tell if he's asking for an invitation or if he's just being nice... again! I probably would have asked if he wanted to come but it would have been too awkward with his mom too. But it was awkward without him so idk.
Struggling tonight. I hate it that I'm hyper analyzing every exchange and word said around him. And he's going to take D17 to dinner tomorrow night so I'll have to see him again. Maybe I'll just be gone pursuing my own GAL.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
What's that woman like? What are her interests and hobbies?
^^ is something else that was hard for me tonight, because the concerts & my girl's music is truly my world. He's always been a welcome outsider but my hobbies and interests are so closely matched to what my dd's are pursuing that it's hard to figure out in my head what is dd's interests and what's mine... I'm confusing myself now... but the point is that H is from another world. He was always super supportive and encouraging but was only a visitor and I think the close bond my dd's and I share from the last 8 months and also from all of our shared interests all of their lives makes H feel even more like an outsider. I'm probably reading too much into this tonight...
