Need to let go

[BrightFuture]

Hang on there, GTO. I know it feels when your WAS tells you that he is happy about you meeting new people and going out. My H told me that I would have no problems finding a new partner. He also told our friends that he was glad that I was making new friends. But then I learnt from the same friends (female) that he made a comment which made me think that he was a bit upset that I was going out.

Recently I’ve been thinking about this a lot. It seems to be a pattern here on the board when WAS wants LBS to start going out and dating. Part of it could the guilt. But, in my case, I’m not sure if my H feels the guilt. We don’t have kids at home (my son is 25), and I was not begging and crying, so he probably had no idea that I was quite a mess for the first few months. I remember times when I split up with my first XH. He cheated, so I kicked him out. After a while he was asking to come back, but I was already over him, and I remember I was care less if he dated anybody or not. So, I’m thinking why my current H is pushing me to get on with my life. If he is not in love with me, then why would he care? I think it might showed in my attitude (vibe) that I was still holing a hope for us to get back together, this is why he was saying this.

GTO, I think your H also feels that you are trying to save your M with him, so he is pushing you away. I bet as soon as he feels a change in your attitude, he will not be saying these words anymore. I know it is very hard to let go, but it seems to be the only chance to turn the dynamics in your favor. Try to think about all the positives you have in your life, and try not think about what your H is doing or saying. I hope you feel better. Hugs!