More of conversation from yesterday: W: I can definitely say I've been missing you.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
It's called "continuous marriage affidavit". It's not quite what we were led to believe. Summary:
As of settlement date we are legally married to each other
We have at all times been so since 8/1/2001 (no idea why this date)
we understand this statement of marriage is being relied upon by xxx title company
we indemnify and hold harmless xxx title company for all claims...etc that may arise as a result of any falsehood as to our marital status.
What the notary said as she handed it to me was "This signifies your intention to stay continuously married to each other" I was tempted, for a split second, to sign with a huge flourish and drama W, as I said, seemed happy to sign it.
Interesting. Thanks.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I am just about 6 months in to this hell. I think it was 25 who posted a note from sandi on my first thread about 6 months "not even scratching the surface" of the waw's hurt.
So I'm still trying to be patient.
Since my last post I've been trying to continue down the "road map" she's given me:
5 or 6 interviews, 3 offers. 1 job. Nothing spectacular. Should hear on a "career job" in about 10 days. If not I'll be pursuing retraining.
i have found out that another issue for wife was a business decision I made 7 years ago. (franchise) I sincerely believed at the time she was on board completely. Turns out not, and in hindsight it was a bad decision. I have started the process of undoing that. We were reminiscing at our last meeting that our happiest time, financially and career-wise,was right before I joined. I can't unspend the money, but I can and will restructure the way i run the business.
i have been doing quite a bit of work on the above, however I have bouts of demotivation...often...due to emotions about sitch. This could become a GAL activity for me.
Lots more positive conversation w/wife, but only text. She started an R convo one day, which I don't like to text about. I had told her I was hired, and she said "sorry I'm putting you under stress" or similar. I started off asking why she thought I seemed stressed, then just said I want her to be healthy. She said she wants both of us to be. Next day I told her of better job I got offered, she said lots of nice things, including "I'm proud of you."
i want, badly, to see her. I haven't pressed. Casually mentioned it on her normal day off, she was working. Didn't try to make it another day, or even bring it up again...the conversation was moving fast.
Does it seem like her resentment is losing steam? Her comment last week about "certainly" missing me, now she's proud of me...a small tear of joy when I dwell on those. She also sent us a pizza out of the blue. Even her input and opinions about ideas I'm having about the business are way + I think?
Then again she really doesn't want to see me...
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
Dm, I haven't posted on your thread but have been observing.
Originally Posted By: Dm45
I am just about 6 months in to this hell. I think it was 25 who posted a note from sandi on my first thread about 6 months "not even scratching the surface" of the waw's hurt.
So I'm still trying to be patient.
I am like you in terms of 6 months into sitch. You have definitely been patient. If you are like me you've had to dig deep to find patience you never knew you had.
Originally Posted By: Dm45
i have found out that another issue for wife was a business decision I made 7 years ago. (franchise) I sincerely believed at the time she was on board completely. Turns out not, and in hindsight it was a bad decision. I have started the process of undoing that. We were reminiscing at our last meeting that our happiest time, financially and career-wise,was right before I joined. I can't unspend the money, but I can and will restructure the way i run the business.
I to am finding out about some resentments recently. Things I thought had been resolved but obviously not. Not sure W can work thru those things with me. I hope we can but W will have to want to.
Originally Posted By: Dm45
Does it seem like her resentment is losing steam? Her comment last week about "certainly" missing me, now she's proud of me...a small tear of joy when I dwell on those. She also sent us a pizza out of the blue. Even her input and opinions about ideas I'm having about the business are way + I think?
Then again she really doesn't want to see me...
This seems certainly positive about "certainly missing you".
For me during our sitch I've seen times of what I describe as positive texts but then W pulls back. So when they do come I just note them as perhaps positive small steps in the right direction but don't let myself get to up about it. About two weeks ago W texted to say among 3 other positive statements she can't believe how understanding I've been through this crisis. Since then, not much.
I am in crazy town RIGHT NOW. Any vets who can straighten me out would be appreciated.
D &S hung out w/W yesterday. Not a problem. Im 99.9% sure it was at OM's place. Big problem with that.
S & S are at movie w/her now. Fear they might be w/him, tho I don't think S20 would.
My ?s: Does this have bearing on my sitch? Sneakiness, etc.
Do I and how do I approach about my not believing our kids should be at I'm house or around him?
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
I think they might be with OM because D & S16 were at his home yesterday, as I can deduce from twitter. D twitted pic of what I think is his dog. Twitted about spending time w/W and S16.
So I fear she might try a "date" with them.
If they were/are...don't think it's right. Don't know what to do about it.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
So I would let it go if you still want to DB. You don't know for sure where they are. If they tell you they went there you can express your feelings but I doubt you can stop it.
Our minds are our worst enemies.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
My mind IS my worst enemy. I was truly in a dark place today.
I spend too much time alone. Right now any is too much.
Having dinner w/B, hanging out w/ family.
W did not bring OM to movie.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
Major problem for me: I try to assign or find meaning in everything.
Does W having D and S visit at OM mean anything re: us?
The meaning I'm afraid of is that she wants them to be friends with him etc. I don't even know if he was there. Assume so. Hope beyond hope not.
I am backsliding big time.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
W, as I said, seemed happy to sign it. 
but only text. 
She started an R convo one day, which I don't like to text about. I had told her I was hired, and she said "sorry I'm putting you under stress" or similar. I started off asking why she thought I seemed stressed, then just said I want her to be healthy. She said she wants both of us to be. Next day I told her of better job I got offered, she said lots of nice things, including "I'm proud of you."