Ok, I'm a new member & I scoured the forum looking for stories of folks who found DB'ing after the D was final, like me, but are still working on resurrecting the marriage.
Think of this as "putting the genie back in the bottle" or "putting Humpty Dumpty back together again". Hopefully it won't be like trying to breathe life back into a dead corpse!
My WAW & I were married for 13 mostly blissful years. She stayed at home & raised our two girls (now 8 & 12), I worked my butt off to provide an incredible life (7,000 sqft. house on acreage, trips around the globe, etc.). We were church going, our kids were straight A students. Two weeks after I accepted a voluntary 12 month severance package at work following a merger, I found out about her affair. She was 39 & was having a classic MLC, got caught, and wanted out of the marriage. She got an awesome lawyer, I got an idiot. She got over 70% of my $1.1MM and I still haven't found work over a year later.
So, despite what my family, friends, & pastors recommend, I still want to get back with my ex. She has bounced from man to man, enjoying her wealth & freedom. Her current BF has been with her about 7+ months and it looks very serious. Hard to call it a rebound exactly but she took NO time to sort through the past 13 years or get her head straight.
As for me, I am still struggling. I have always been a pillar of strength but the shock of her infidelity and the resulting aftermath has really crushed me.
I have made attempts at limited contact but haven't made it 7 weeks without breaking down & texting/ talking to her (we text now every couple of days). She absolutely wants me around as a friend (ppl tell me she NEEDS this because of her guilt) but no flirting, etc. She puts up a wall/ front to hide her emotions around me. She refuses to acknowledge her role in the break-up and doesn't dwell on the past or future as she prefers to live in the present only. She showed signs of narcissism throughout the marriage and afterwards. She is a former TV actress who is beautiful and I always put her on a pedestal.
The advice I have received has been fairly consistent: Get my career back, GAL, STOP all form of unneeded contact, and truly let her go. Even though she is likely to stay with Mr. Wonderful anyway, that is the only way to have even the slightest chance of her wondering what I'm up to and possibly pursuing me someday. And if I happened to get a little lucky and they break up or get married, then divorced (he's been married 3 times before and he has 3 children of his own), then possibly she could come back around. Sounds a little pathetic if I do say so myself.
The heart wants what the heart wants, right?
So, I'm hoping I can hear from ppl who are trying against the odds to get back with their exes and for advice from those who would guide us.
