Less lonely, not scared..low on patience

[JBolt]

TVS, I love her dearly, always have. She has let her childhood trauma (her own parents divorce and then the death of her mother when W was 17) fester for the last 25 years. Since her mothers death she has been depressed off and on (understandable!), timid with strangers or in groups, scared to put herself out there, and not very ambitious. She has had pie in the sky kind of dreams for herself, but always failed to take the first step to seeing them fulfilled. I've so wanted her to take control and responsibility for her life, of course I never imagined it would be at the expense of our family.

In many ways she has snapped back to her 16 year old self full of hope, dreams, and wonder at the world. I would be happy for her if all wasn't so obviously yet another attempt to avoid the real past. She just does not know how to deal with this or anything as far as I can tell.

She still takes very good care of the children and is cordial with me. We will always have a bond with the children, very close families, and 25 years of good marriage (she admits as much, she says now the marriage was not good for her with regard to dealing with her issues). I think that she just really feels she needs this divorce to move on. She wants me to let go, I think out of guilt for the EA and how much misery she has put me through. I firmly believe that this will have to happen and the sooner the better, for her and me. I also believe that she will regret this in the future. I hope she has the courage to say so one day. I want her to heal herself and be happy.
J