Great responses from the guys. They know what they are talking about.
I have considered myself lucky (if there is such a thing during a S's MLC!) that my H has never brought up the D word. Even when things were at their worst here.
I do have a few thoughts to share though..
I have read many times here the vets giving newbies the advice that "divorce = space". That what they MLCer is looking for may not be what you think.
My H never brought up D or S, but he did bring up leaving a few times so that he could "figure things out".
Which goes back to understanding that its about them, not you.
The other thing is this...
It took me awhile to come to this understanding... That no matter what happens, there isn't a scenario in which H and I never see each other again. We have children together, which will bond us forever.
During a big fight about a month and a half after bomb, my H told me that he wished he could run away and never have to see me or deal with me again.
And I have no doubt that he meant it at the time. None.
I think (and this is only a guess) that he either has learned or is learning that is not an option. As the parents of two small children, he is most certainly going to have to see and deal with me. But he had to figure that out for himself.
Your W seems to be questioning everything about herself and her life. I feel like the MLCer has this warped checklist in their minds of what is wrong with their life/making them unhappy. They seem to be compelled to go down their list, checking off each item they try.
And what happens when they get to the end of their list and they are still miserable? Very scary for them, I'm sure. Self-inspection time...
I wish you all the best with this. I have also read here many times that a D is just a piece of paper, that as long as you have hope, there is hope.
Only you can decide if you still have hope
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
