AM2012...is it too much pressure to start the 'sex' side of the marriage yet...do you need to become friends again, maybe start small with some sort of 'dating'
If this is the new you...does he need to get to know the new you...seems like you two have not been intimate for a while...
Also I am trying to look at it as not working on the m but trying to make a 'new' marriage...this is my goal...there are way to many aspects of the old m that did not work...but a good basis for what did work...
But this is me in my own mind...have not been able to mention this stuff to h yet...no chance..
I'infidele...
I'm thinking the right response is standing up and taking responsibility. So unilaterally do everything you can to understand why you are Low D, medical, psychological, reading, counselling etc. He should know that you are doing everything you can to improve yourself...all the GAL stuff...including learning who your sexually.
(sorry when I have tried quoting before it did not worrk)
I have been looking at these items too...doctors won't even test now because of all the psychological...there is too a lot of details and issues of our sex life that steam from the pressure H put on my because of my LD, this in turn made things worse for me, the shame, guilt, anger and pressure at times made it...that even if I had thought about wanting to have sex...if I then decided not to and had told him yes previously I would have felt incredible guilt...if at those times instead of H making me feel wrong for those feelings, if he had suggested maybe just cuddling or a back rub for me instead this might have in turn help to get me connected with him and to the point of sex...
This was of course a need I did not tell him at the time...just food for thought now...
Since IC this was the only topic I have broken down about...the pressure on 'me' in the sex life, the pressure still present as H always told me he could and would have sex at anytime...that makes me so guilty!
I have told h that I also had issues with the lack of sex life and have concerns and did not address them fully...but neither did he except for always telling me it was my issue to deal with...(a big part of our marriage that neither did the work in and destroyed us)
Sorry for stealing the thread some...thought this may help in the discussion...
