I still think this is all so much nibbling around the edges, CL, and it doesn't seem to be working. I still think your wife is craving a more visceral connection with you, and until you summon up the nerve to attack that, I think you're largely going to be chasing smokescreens.
I know you don't want to hear that, and are avoiding it, but it's just how it looks from my seat. And as you know, I've been sitting here watching this show for quite awhile.
When are you going to get tired of all this eggshell-walking?