Another dollar in my one-man show

[25yearsmlc]

Easy, easy on the replies,
Those were just thoughts. I won't act on it.

Why not? You just justified it in your last post and again here.

I guess this type of fantasies come easy to me for three reasons :

- I am not really home here. I already worked in different countries in the past, and I know you can re-start from 0 when you change places. Thus the temptation.

Translation: It would be easy for me.

- The amounts asked of me every month (until June) are ridiculous, and, check that, W is now pursuing 50% of the assets in France! Now that's dishonest, because she knows very well that I brought the downpayment for the mortgage. This is debatable, but I made every payment. If the two parties should part ways, why should she get out of it richer than she ever brought in or earned ? Especially after three years of marriage?

TRANSLATION: Money & I'm angry.


- My older cousin got Ded a couple of years ago. Same thing, W left him. He changed countries, and guess what, he met a kind girl, and they're expecting a baby now. So happy for him, all is good that ends good.

TRANSLATION: I know someone else who abandoned his family and HE SAYS he's happy and that's all that matters. (No one asks about the abandoned child b/c that child is being replaced. No problem.)


Mentally, I'm being tumbled to every side, like a dirty rag in a washing machine, and even my driving has worsened. People honk at me because they're mad, and I don't even care. I don't look at who is honking or swearing or why, I just keep doing my thing.. it's so asocial.

Maybe 25yearsmic is right, I don't have any coping ability. In truth my life has been so good until now that I don't know what to do in the face of adversity or contrariety. This one has knocked me off.

Well yes it has. We've all been there and for all of us, THIS type of experience is among the worst. Only the death of a child seem worse than the death of a marriage. I think

It's fair to say you are having more trouble than most, sticking to a MOOD for a week, let alone a course of action.

You seem to need coping tools & skills for handling anger & setbacks and just not getting your way. There's no shame in needing help IF you avail yourself of it.

Bruce I already gave you the sources of help out there b/c I don't think a weekly meeting with a therapist is going to be enough for you. Sounds to me like you feel that way too.

Anyhow, Weren't you suggesting just LAST WEEK, your "total surrender and giving her everything" and the whole being a martyr thing?

See, this is where I get worried about you.

Your plans and mood swings go to such extremes, and are so frequent, that You need more help than you are getting, Bruce.

You have to get that help NOW or you'll do something you very much regret. And you'll get hurt and you will hurt others too. IT's preventable.

Don't keep reverting back to the "it's hopeless if it's hard!!" routine.

Did that really work for you in your past? It's not working here.





So I go to C today, and she tells me that I can't control W, and I can only control me. Duh, I know... I'm so disappointed.

Oh Lord, please help me...
Pretty please..

I'm trying very hard to help you. But when someone throws you a lifeline, you can't toss it back b/c it's not the one you want.

You'll just keep drowning. Bruce, are you interested in changing YOU or just your wife or just the situation?

B/c if you are here to change your wife, we cannot help you.

If you are here to get the TEMPORARY legal orders changed, we cannot help you.

If you here to change anyone or anyting but yourself, then we cannot help you.

But if YOU are willing to change YOU, then maybe we can get somewhere.

It's not hopeless UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO GIVE UP. Then it is.

I've tried to warn you about what will happen with your son if you keep on in this mindset. Please don't pass on the negativity or hopeless feelings to your son. They're not healthy and surely you want better for him...right?

Please tell me, when I write these posts to you, Am I wasting my time?