I know I need to look at myself in all of this, but I can't stop myself from thinking that in my sitch and her friends husbands sitch, neither of us were dancing alone. It seems unfair to me that my w and her friend get to blame all the problems on the men. I feel like both my w and her friend are not taking responsibility for their part in all of this. To me it seems like in a marriage, both people need to take responsibility for the breakdown. I have a problem believing that in my case its all my fault and also in his case the same. It doesn't feel right to me to just be the one to blame. This is something I need to resolve asap.
To me, M is a 50/50 deal....but you have to take 100% responsibility for your 50. W probably isn't going to look at her 50 at the same time you do, and you throwing it in her face will not get her to look at it any more than all the things she did over the course of your M to try to get you to look at yours. So focus on yours for now and stop worrying about hers.
Originally Posted By: dorightman
I know I need to work on my anger, my damaged inner child, my ability to deal with financial pressure, my belief in my own ability to grow and do better.
Sounds like that's plenty to keep you busy with in the short term....get to work and stop worrying about what is "fair."
Originally Posted By: dorightman
I know I'm a good man, I never cheated and I value family and commitment.
Yeah, me too....didn't make my M great. They are good things, but they are more of a foundation. You have to have walls and a roof too or you'll still freeze to death.
