What are the things that have helped everyone most getting your mind off of spouse? I goto the gym and try to focus
I wish I had a good answer for you here but I don't. Been with my W for 20 years and as Bug said you don't just turn that off. Try to keep busy to help but I'd be lying if I said my W/sitch doesn't cross my mind every half hour (up from every 15 min a month ago and every second two months ago...).
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yet everything creeps in and I become lost in my fears, misery and self loathing.
Those are all feelings that YOU can control.
What are your fears?
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I HAVE to find a way to be more positive and not dwell, it is killing me
Yes!
A book not mentioned a lot on here that helped me with this was The Happiness Trap. It discusses methods of diffusing those bad thoughts.
I still have 'bad' thoughts and many are similar to what you feel. I just force myself to diffuse them quickly before they take hold. Some days are harder than others. Those are days you'll see me venting on here or reaching out to friends.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
