MM,
You have been given excellent advice by all, but the one posting that stands out for me is the one that mizjid posted to you.

Dbing is for YOU...it is to help you in the long term and the principles can be used in your day-to-day life. It is not just to get your spouse's attention.

If you are doing different things to get your spouse's attention...stop right now. Any changes that you make are to be made for you and are to remain permanent. If you are doing and/or making changes to get her attention, I can assure you, she is very much aware of what you are doing and you are pushing her even further away.

Your wife is the exact opposite of who she was pre-crisis. She's on a journey to find herself, to better understand why she feels the way she does. She thinks she missed out on something at a younger age and she did...she didn't learn how to cope well and her emotional growth was stunted at a very early age. She wasn't validated and most likely tried to please her parents, teachers and anyone in authority and they didn't recognize her for her talents and efforts. Her crisis didn't happen over night, it took years and years to get to this point and there's nothing you can do to stop the course she's on.

What you can do is keep the focus on you and your children. Learn to live life as if she's never going to return, but you can leave the door ajar. Make a list of the things that you haven't done, and yet, have wanted to do because of lack of time, etc. This list will help you stay focused on what needs to be done and helps to keep your mind off of what is going on w/your wife.

The mlc journey is not for the faint of heart. You have to dig very deep for patience and learn all you can about it. This is your journey as well and one that will have highs and lows, but you will get through the journey and you just might be surprised at what you learn about yourself along the way.

So, let's get some plans in place for the weekend. Okay? Put the "attention getters" away and just be yourself.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.