Good point labug. I guess in a round about way I was trying to set a boundary - you THINK so? I think you begin with it, probably sincerely but then let your anger and scorekeeping (which is what you accuse HER of doing) come up again.
And I'm surprised you had to say ALL this in front of your d's...but Labug's totally spot on here. she has done this for years and I always feel like I'm on the defensive in conversations. So um, exactly how many years? Oh wait, that is scorekeeping! Do you want to go "from this day forward" or not? I gave you a script that should have been shorter, but you made it longer AND said it front of the girls.
Just try the "W, I thought I apologized for that already. Did I misstate something or did I do it again? I hope not."
Stress going forward, NOT how SHE keeps doing this...or you'll be playing the same destructive game you say she plays. YOU have to change the dynamic by modelling it for her.
It did catch me by surprise since we weren't even talking about R stuff anyhow. Maybe it was a test that I failed miserably last night...?
not "miserably". It's better than fighting, though it was a type of fight. It's just that you felt you "won" this round & she might have heard something valuable in what you said INSIDE the pain it also caused her. Let's hope she isn't going thru her old journals for more examples of your past wrongs...
I want you to see NEW ways of resolving conflicts so there are no losers.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
