Looking for a little advice and support

[cbtdad]

Need some advice on 180's! Hoping some of you got some get advice for me:)
I went to pick up son an hour ago at my MIL's house. MIL asked W and I to go to a meeting with her tomorrow for support. I said not sure W wants to spend the day with me jokingly. Wife says I can go. Well walking into her bedroom at we house I say to her, " your mom is helping you out by you living here, I think you can at least go to support her for one meeting"
W then blows up and says, "you can't f)&@$ing
Tell me what to do"
I just said I wasn't trying to, just thought it would be nice of you to do. Anyways I texted her when I got back and told her I didn't appreciate her speaking to me like that.
I guess what I am asking using that as an example is how do I 180 well around her when I want to see my son all the time.
I've been working harder
Working out
Going out with friends
Going to church and getting my relationship better with Christ

Problem is these aren't big deals to her expect working harder.
Her biggest problem at this point I believe is my anger and verbal abuse which I am working on with a counselor. I guess verbal abuse also includes control which is why she blows up like that.
I guess I need to just completely not talk to her until retrouvaille, but I see her so often because of my son