Thank you Tallula your support and compassion mean a lot to me, really really really. I told 3 more friends in the last 3 days and it helps. One friend almost vomited and couldn't sleep all night. She is praying constantly for me and for all of us. Another friend thought I was dying and was relieved when I told her I was fine but my marriage wasn't. Then outraged and in tears. She sent me home with homemade chicken soup (she had made it for me before she knew about my situation). Another said her son had told her (my son told him) but when she heard some of the details she told me, Tig, you are loved by many people and I am one of them. I want to help you, and I mean it. Drop the boys off, anything you want, any time. It really helps. Tonight I decided that I would go out for cocktails with a group of girlfriends. It will only be for a few hours and the babysitter will be a bit beyond our budget but my mental health depends on it. I deserve it. A teeny tiny vacation from my life. The boys will play wii and stay up late, and love it.
Tallula what does it mean when you say
Frankly, I can't D him until I can this baby anyway.
I think some of your sentence is missing. I found being a mother to a baby overwhelming. I loved it of course, but it was so time-consuming and I breastfed for a long long time--so there was a loss of freedom--I am not complaining since I loved it--but it was an adjustment. I am not sure how you manage this without help. That is really amazing and what you are going through shows how strong you are. I am sorry it is hard on you. I hope you come to a decision that fills you with peace soon. Or else I hope your husband comes to realize what he is throwing away and does an about face. If I had a magic wand I'd be using it on both of us.
