Hey T, I would have to say yes to your question about the long term things coming out during MLC, but back before MLC they may have been just little comments, so I wouldn't realize how big the feeling under them could have been. H has never been one to talk about his feelings, more of a think about things and make the decision and that is that (and apparently is still that way).
Like now that he seems to be exiting the tunnel he says very little, we had those few conversations about what he wants and doesn't want back in December, but that was it. Everything is going on like a normal married couple, which is strange for me because I have a lot of things unanswered, which some I would like answered and others not so much anymore, I've had to ask myself why I feel like I need to know and will it help me to know, usually the answer is no (and would probably hurt me).
Remember I was a bit jealous that your W was being (and is still being) so open about her process? Maybe it's a woman thing, we are more verbal about that stuff and you guys aren't, IDK, but I've realized just because he's not talking to me about it doesn't mean he's not processing and making progress.
Also, about the positive affirmations and compliments, something else my C said that's very important, don't over do it, and don't seem fake, they will know.
I hope your W gets that job, but if she doesn't then there is something better waiting for her.
Along those lines, a couple of weeks ago H had an interview for a different position where he works (of course on the inside I was scared to death of how he would react to not getting the job if it worked out that way, since a big job disappointment seems to be what triggered this whole mess). I didn't bring it up with him, and if he did, I told him I hope he gets the position, but if he doesn't then it wasn't meant to be and something better is out there for him. He ended up NOT getting the position. He was disappointed but I stood by saying there is a reason he didn't get it and I believe there is something better waiting for him. He recovered nicely from it, and thankfully didn't go running back in the tunnel! lol
You're an amazing person T, and are doing great, just keep up the good work!! And also remember even if she seems cranky when you are saying nice stuff to her, she's filing it away somewhere how you treated her...Unconditional love my friend.
