Sexless marriage. H Left. Now retrouvaille in 3wks

[stilllookingup]

I haven't read your entire thread but as far as I read your first post, and I'm sure everyone has said that your H was definitely not ready to come back. H like ours definitely need longer cooling time.

In my case though when I started initiating hugs, he also lost his beloved grandpa and I was there for him and I think it really showed him how much I cared about him. The night we came back form visiting grandpa when his condition worsened, I hugged him extra tight and he hugged me back tighter than ever. Now every morning he hugs me back / rubs my back. I really don't think he would have done that if I was hugging him right after BD 4 months ago. Just a couple of days ago he texted me a funny picture and that's the first time ever in 4 months. He now even brings me back candies I like from his work. Tiny tiny baby steps but I take it.

I knew somebody just like your H from another forum and W was so confused too. Her H was cold just like your H. He was more mad about the rejection than sad like mine is. She was so frastrated because he was so cold and yet he wouldn't leave the house. She wants them to work on m but knew it wouldn't happen if her H stayed at home acting like that. So maybe it's a good thing your H is leaving - he needs time to heal.

By the way I am very impatient and my H KNOWS that I am. So my biggest 180 is actually these last 4 months. I'm sure he can't beleive how patient I have been. I mean I haven't rushed or forced him ANYTHING at all.