B, I dont really think that db is necessarily saying to be their friend and someone they can confide in.
Just my opinion. I think by showing them someone who has made the changes permanent, someone strong, loving and compassionate is the way to make the passage home safe.
But in no way should you not do what you need to do legally to protect yourself and your kids. Because if your h comes out of this, he will see that you did what you had to to protect your family.
Here's the thing. If some of the things he mentioned to you have some truth to them and you agree they need changing, those are the changes you need to make. For you.
You need to live your life as if he was not coming back. That doesnt mean to be mean spirited or angry or resentful . It means becoming the person you want to be. And that should include strength, dignity and conviction.
Strive to be that person everyday because if he comes out of this, that's who he needs to see. That is someone who will make it safe.
