Wife said she was done!

[Maritimer]

SemperFi00 – Thanks for dropping by! I appreciate the thoughts and prayers.

Bblake1968 – doing my best to eliminate the negativity but I really do want what’s best for my wife and kids. She was never the greatest with money so my concerns are genuine. I agree that there are always room for improvement and am consistently reflecting on what I can do better. I am working on forgiveness and not to be so angry inside due to her choosing to leave the marriage.

25yearsmlc – So honored you took time to read my thread. We all respect your honest views looking from the outside.

There was no doubt I chose substance abuse to cope with my struggles as a new parent and the feeling of not getting enough attention from my wife. She had expressed her concerns in a way that pushed me further from her requests. I should have took action earlier but I haven’t and I take full responsibility for that.

It was the last few months before the BD that I had drifted away from her, due to her approach and the consistent “you’re doing it wrong” when I did attempt to help. She made me feel that I was more in the way by helping incorrectly and I thought “well she is a mom, she knows best”.

The BD was an awakening and I now know better. I am a much improved engaged father than I was a few months ago. I should thank her for that.

We both got complacent about our appearance, we both gained weight but I never lost my attraction to her, she told me she did. I weigh less now than I did when we got married. A big 180 change their!

I feel really good about myself now. Being sober, losing weight, self-help books, reading the DR, this forum, being more active, a PMA & DB’ing has certainly helped my confidence and self-esteem. I hope she can feel the positive energy I am bringing to the family. I will continue all of these life changes even if she chooses to continue with the separation/divorce. I need to be there 100% mentally and physically for my 2 wonderful boys and become the best father I can be to them.