I'm still having some general conversations with H. He isn't quite ready to talk about us and I'm trying to be okay with it.
He mentioned that he was going to work a side job tonight for an awards show for the local newspaper. I had mentioned something about last year and he told me that he hated life so much last year that he doesn't remember much of it. As much as I wanted to say something about it, I held my tongue and just commented about how I understood.
He keeps talking about being angry and unhappy. I'm trying to be supportive but when I'm upbeat and understanding, he just gives me a look. I told him that I've been trying to let things go and not allow them to get me mad. He says that he can't do it. He's talking more but I can tell he's still holding a lot in.
We were talking while I was brushing my teeth and H mentioned "we'll probably be separated by then." It ticked me off but I kept brushing my teeth. I didn't say anything and I'm not sure if I made a face but he asked me if I was upset. I told him no because I was brushing. I'll admit I was upset for a sec or two but then I calmed down and realized it was to get a reaction out of me. I did't play along.
I know that he's got a lot to work through for himself. I just want him to be patient because our sitch isn't going to resolve itself overnight. He wants to be able to move out of folks basement next year and we're still 2 yrs from being out of debt.
I hope I can continue to have the strength to go forward.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
