Words used have such a powerful meaning to how I view the things I do. Obviously the ones used in conversations and on boards are talked about on almost every thread so no need to discuss those here. I'm talking more the labels we put on our actions. A friend spent over 2 hours on phone with me last night (thanks Craig!!!) and this is one of topics we spent some time on.
For example: I have no doubts what I'm currently doing at this time (pulling back from W) is the correct thing for me, and my kids. I feel I'm doing it in as loving a way as I can and my morals are good and centered (to protect mine and my kids feelings over what is a very real future for us). I won't lie, it's a very hard thing for me and the path of least resistance would be to just keep acting like friends right up to D. I know that will likely just lead to more hurt. My W has never experienced or really felt that she might lose me no matter what she's done in the past. Anyway, back to topic...this last week something still wasn't sitting well with me over what I was doing. I couldn't figure it out because like I said I truly believe in it. Come to figure out it was just the label of going dim/ dark. It feels so negative to me. Just by changing it to "backing in to reality" made it feel better.
Might just be me and none of you (besides Craig) have any idea what I'm rambling about. Other 'normal' board sayings that feel negative to me that I will try to stop using:
•Become a better man: Implies I wasn't a good man before. I like "Becoming a man that makes better decisions" •Be man only a fool would leave: Implies any S that leaves is a fool rather than just someone that made some bad decisions •Doormat: Negative word used way too much. Only a doormat if you get walked all over. I equated it to doing too much for someone even though I really did want to do the things and felt at time it was right thing to do. In my case I was more an enabler •But: Word used to set up an excuse most the time. I'm also a little afraid of Cat...
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
