You guys made my day with all your help and support. Reminding me that I did not cause this is something I cant hear enough.

My H is also so high functioning that its easy to forget he has issues. Also all his accusations do contain some truths. I just need to keep repeating I didnt cause it, I cant control it and I cant cure it.

I guess what confuses me is part of the DB program is to make the WAS feel safe enough to come home and let them know you are their friend and they can confide in you. For me that feels inconsistant with standing my ground. I dont want to be the trouble maker so to speak. Its hard to fight with the person I so desperately want to love me... I guess I just need to get over that desperation, I am sure he can smell it a mile away.

Most days I am okay with my girls having parents that are divorced, I know that they will be okay because I will show them how but some days the thought of them coming from a broken home is overwhelming. Like when D4 friend says "Why does D4 have 2 houses" - ugh! i hate that.

thank you all. Big hugs right back to you guys

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M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13