If having a reciprocal partner qualifies as the "ideal" partner, then I would like to not ever be M'd. My definition of M is reciprocal. I was acting as the partner I would like to be, but like my job, it's not intended to charity. I expect to get "paid." My healthy boundary was evident after two weeks of non-reciprocal interaction. I'm willing to go first; I'm just not willing to go alone.
I can do the exercise you're talking about. It's not far off from what I've done in the past. I tend to type rather than write, but I don't suspect that matters. I'm sure I could go through some of my old files and put together a pretty significant list without any new thoughts. Many of the issues are old news and have already been addressed. And I've done this with all of my R's: parents, step-kids, friends, co-workers, etc. It's not a foreign concept to me, just a different technique.
I have spent time on a co-d site, as well as a step-parenting site, M site, home organization site, gardening site, etc. THIS is a divorce-busting site. Yes, I do vent, I do ask questions, regarding M/R's. I thought that was the purpose of the site.
So if I were fully invested and completely successful, what is the end-goal? How does your suggestion "bust my D?"
