SURE That's it! You found the secret to EVERYONE'S PROBLEMS!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU...
(what the he!! were WE FOOLS doing posting here for years?? We acted like different marriages had different problems (???!!!) with some aspects in common, when all this time it was so simple!
All it took was someone SMART ENOUGH - like YOU, to solve it all...)
sheer brilliance.
25,
I wanted to bring this over here. This is what your response to SM was that bothered me. And if you read it from the outside, I think it might bother you as well...
This is what bothered me and I find it a bit ironic that I am watching a show with Joyce Meyer right now, who just released a new book about the power of our words. She is saying that words are a container for power and we should be aware of that.
You are defensive of the coaches because they helped you.
Not everyone has had the good fortune to get a DB coach.
I am defensive of these boards, because of what they did for me.
I hate the moderation that exists now, although I understand it.
If there was moderation when I first came here looking for help, I would not have stayed because I needed immediate help.
I try to always remember what I went through, where I was, and how long it took me to "get it".
I think you help a lot of people. Just like Starsky and others do. There are so few vets posting now. And the newcomers...are at the beginning. I think it is our responsibility if we are going to post, to be aware of that. And to be really aware of the words we use and the ideas that we put out there...
While there way a ton of drama about the DB coaches over there, that was less of an issue for me.
Personally, while I do wonder occassionally about advice that posters say the DB coaches give them, I wonder if they (the coaches) have the same information that we have here and I also wonder if the person heard them correctly.
The thing with the coaches is that they are practicing Solution Based Theory. They are looking for solutions. Period. So...if your S says you don't touch them enough...try touching...see if that makes a difference.
Regardless of other circumstances going on in the R, it addresses the specific complaint.
So anyway, these are just my thoughts...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
