Unfortunately no, we can't just all get along. And that is ok.
Something about you though...
You talked about us LBS not being all horrible and it being mostly the WAS.
I suppose that is possible, but NONE of us is perfect. We all had contributions to the issues in our M that got us here.
That is what posters are trying to get you to see. NOT that you are horrible, but there are things you can do differently, better, more or less of, things that you can change to make you a better partner.
In my sitch, many of our male friends stated more than once that they would love to have a W like me. I did all of the housework, got up at 4am to make my H dinner to take to work, took care of the bills, the kid, the animals...Everything...
Not horrible right?
To my X, I did way too much. I didn't allow him to "grow up". And to him, he felt like I did that stuff out of duty, not love.
So that was something that I had to change and it was hard. Hard to watch him learn how to cook, do his own laundry, grocery shop...I know it sounds stupid but it's the truth.
The outcome, he felt/feels much better about himself.
Your comment about everyone getting along...you are a fixer aren't you?
It's ok, most of us here are. However, not everyone or everything needs fixing...
Sometimes they want to figure it out on their own and we have to step back and let that happen.
Just like the debate on this thread. We have to be open to each other and sometimes, we have to agree to disagree...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
