Here we go loopty loo. Here we go loopty li.

[Raine]

Thanks so much Snodderly, T, and rH. I feel so much more positive about that convo now.

Went to a thing for S8 tonight and it was so comfortable to be around H. He kept teasing me about stuff, like old times, and at one point I did one of those playful slaps on the shoulder and then thought to myself what the heck am I doing? It was just a total natural reaction. There was this flirtatious tension. H helped me to the car after and it just felt like he wanted to hug me, but I just got in the car. Just this awkward state of being where I miss him so much, but I also know he has this weird second life and I am so not okay with it.

So about that second life...it is getting whack-a-do crazy. Like replay just went on speed. Things are getting worse and expanding to involve more people. H seems pretty normal around me. A bit immature, but he always was. But with other people, his slew of women, I swear he is 14. This is something new. I think before he would use he is lonely/depressed, sympathy, white-knight understanding tactics with these women. I get that mlcers live out their adolescence in replay, but he is acting and talking like he is 14 to them. I don't know how these women are not turned off. Even my married cousin, he is talking to her in this begging, childish manner. It's crazy. The only way to describe it is a 14 yr old that has access to a bunch of women and has no experience, and as you would expect a 14 yr old in such a placement, he has zero boundaries. It's kind of freaky to see multiple versions of him, like one he is with me/work/old friends and this replay version. This is the kind of thing I thought would happen during the beginning of acceptance, like HB talks about, the three faces of eve.