Need some opinions on kids

[punkin]

Hey Paige,
When my X & I split, our kids were grown, so I had no fears about them, but I didn't want the OW around my grandkids. They were so confused already. I did, however have a divorce earlier in life when my kids were small. For what it's worth, this I have learned through life.

Part of our unconscious fear is that somehow we will be replaced in the kids minds and hearts. That will never happen. There is a better than 50/50 chance that the OW doesn't want your kids around anymore than you want them around her. As for her 2 kids, your kids are plenty old enough to realize that Dad is spending all his time with these other kids, and may even voice their feelings about it to him. Will they be hurt, perhaps, but that is unfortunatly part of life. On the other hand, if she, or even someone else turns out to become the stepmother, the absolute very best you can honestly hope is that it is a caring person who will truly have affection for the kids. Not easy on you at the moment, but in the long run will be a blessing. I think I was a good stepmother to my H's boys. We still have a warm relationship. My oldest kids Dad had several wives.Some good, some not so good.

It appears that you may not have a choice in whether or not the "friend" is allowed into your kids life, but know in your heart that regardless of how she appears to your children, good or bad, your spot in their hearts and lives is sacred. You are the warm, loving, safe spot that they call home.