Okay, I understand the exercise. I'm still not sure of the end-goal.
I'm going to analogize this because it makes it easier for me to be objective and not emotional.
Let's say instead of this being a M, this is a business. So now I list everything I bring to the business to make it successful, and everything I bring that causes harm to the business. I can focus on improving my negative traits, obviously. I can also decide/determine as an individual if I even have the capacity to make the business successful on my own. If I feel I don't, because I'm simply lacking in certain talents or energies that I don't believe I'll ever overcome, then I can choose to not have the business.
Alternatively, I can bring a "partner" into the business. That partner has a list of traits as well, both positive and negative. The only reason someone would likely bring a partner into a business is because the joining partner brought something beneficial to the table, and that those benefits outweighed the deficits. If that is not the case, then inventorying *my* traits is irrelevant. I already knew I didn't possess the skills/talents/energies necessary all by myself to make it successful. That's why I looked for a partner in the first place. That's why I "interviewed" him extensively before partnering with him.
Now, the business is failing. I don't see what good it does to make a list of my positive and negative traits at this point. "Together" we don't have what it takes to make the business successful. And I know I don't have it in me to make it work by myself even if I was absolutely perfect. The fact that H does not bring more positive than negative to the table only makes matters worse.
The fact is that I *need* some things from my M partner that I can't adequately provide for myself. Just like my H would like to have sex -- from a W, rather than from his five-fingered friend. I have needs as well that simply can't be met by improving on my list of short-comings.
Nor do I see where I'm being a "martyr" because I recognize that the business is failing, that I can see that I would be better suited in a different line of business, or perhaps under the employ of someone else. If I'm martyring on anything, it's only in regard to S12, and I don't see that as being a martyr but just doing what I feel is best for him as his parent.
