I've been trying to compile some sentences like you suggested above. For example, "I demonize others and play the victim when I describe a lack of follow through on good intentions as lies and deception." I can't use this because it don't contort his lack of follow through as lies. In fact, I posted specifically that I don't consider that lying. So using the same context, if I start with "H frequently doesn't match his actions to his words and so I don't trust him." Is that demonizing him? It's true, and it's something he readily admits. It's simply a fact of life, like that he wears a 38 in pants. It could change, but it doesn't mean I'm demonizing him or calling him fat because I state an unembellished fact.
And if I just focus on myself as you said: "I do not trust H." Okay, now what? I don't consider it a flaw in me, I consider it a wise response to external stuff. It doesn't mean I'm 'afaid' anymore than I'm afraid to eat beets. Tried it, didn't like it, don't care to try it again, thanks.
I don't really get the "end goal" of your suggestion.
